Stress Test

Wow...it's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess that no news is good news!

I went in this a.m. for my first Stress Test Echocardiogram. You're basically wired up to an EKG and blood pressure cuff, and then put on a treadmill to get your heart rate up.

I have to admit that I was slighly groggy, as I consumed a little too much wine the previous night, but in general, things seemed to go well.

They do an echo of the heart, make you run, and then redo the echo to see how the heart (and valve) are functioning.

I was kind of worried about this test, cause you never know...but was pleasantly surprised to hear all is well. Seems that I'm recovering nicely, and don't need to see the cardiologist for another year.

So that's about it. The doctor said that I probably shouldn't compete in athletic events yet (to win...I can certainly participate), but otherwise there shouldn't really be any restrictions.

Hope everyone is doing well.

chris

check up

I went to the Cardiologist on Tuesday for my 6 mos. check up. Everything thing is sounding and looking good. I'm supposed to be back in 30 days for a stress test - where they put you on a treadmill and maybe do an echo. So I'm looking forward to that.

Otherwise, been working and trying to ride as much as possible.

Hope all is well with everyone.

chris

262,800 minutes...

It will be 25 weeks tomorrow. 175 days...since I went in to have my heart valve replaced. I have a six month check up with a new cardiologist tomorrow morning. I'm hoping for the best, but don't really know what to expect. My previous cardiologist came across as rather pompous, so I'm hopeful that this guy will be better. Who knows...maybe cardiologists are all pompous assholes? Either way, at least the new guy is local. I can pretty much walk to the appointment - which is a hell of a lot better than driving to Denver.

I'm not sure how I'm doing at this point, so I'm anxious to find out what an expert thinks. It's not like I'm not doing anything, I'm riding, hiking and running. But it seems that my resting heart rate should be lower. I have both a heart rate monitor and a blood pressure monitor, so I'm rather obsessive about checking these two measurements. And, since that's all I have to go on, any fluctuation in any measurement freaks me out a bit.

But, as I'm writing this, I just checked my BP and HR and it was 132/80 and 76 bpm. So, not a bad morning. A few cups of coffee and I should be able to jet that right up.

chris

It's raining in Frisco

Well...it had to end. We've been getting some of the nicest weather the past 4 -5 days - sunny and warm. A lot different from what I hear the Front Range has been experiencing. But now, it's cold and raining.

Not much new on the heart valve side of things. It seems as if the pain that I've been experiencing on the left side of my chest is subsiding. So that should be good.

My friend Ryan just had shoulder surgery, and it looks like he'll be out of action for longer than I was! I was riding my bike just shy of a month after surgery...he'll be out for at least 6 weeks and it'll be 3+ months before he's back in action.

So, maybe heart surgery isn't so bad after all.

IN THE NEWS: This is interesting to me, and I think it will greatly affect my future. Seems that two companies are competing to be the first one to release a new type of heart valve. You can read it here, if you're interested. Basically, it's a valve that is inserted through the femoral artery, and no open heart surgery is needed. Sweet!

The Jerusalem Cricket

Thanks to Rich Young for help in identifying the crazy ant-like creature. It is most definitely the Jerusalem Cricket, or "Niño de la Tierra." Which I kind of like better. Child of the Earth.

Melissa and I went to Cirque du Soleil last night down in Denver. Here is something interesting about that...

(AGI) - Moscow, 2 Oct. The Soyuz capsule with the founder of "Cirque du Soleil", Guy Laliberte', on board, has docked with the International Space Station (ISS). The docking took place at 10.35 Italian time. This is the 7th visit to space for the 50-year-old Canadian billionaire, depicted in an unauthorised biography as being addicted to sex, drugs and various other excesses.

Anyway, sex additiction aside, the show was really amazing and fun. Quite the spectacle. It was nice to be out doing something a little different than usual.

chris

Over 16 weeks since surgery

I have 3000TFX Bovine Tissue Valve, 29mm, in the Aortic position installed in my heart. I carry a card to that effect in my wallet. It's an Edwards valve, by the way. Just in case you wondered "hmmm, I wonder what brand of valve Chris selected for his heart." I wanted a HEMI. The left side of my chest hurts and I'm occasionally light headed. I can't sleep with out taking drugs, and I'm continually tired. I need to take 5mg of lisinopril every day for the rest of my life (to reduce my blood pressure) and an aspirin to thin my blood. But, if you didn't know I had heart valve replacement surgery four month ago, you'd never know that I had heart valve replacement surgery.

My heart rate seems to be dropping slightly, but it's not where I want it to be. When I check it in the a.m., it's somewhere around 70 BPM. Not bad. But, usually, throughout the day, it's around 75 - 100 depending upon what I am doing. I wear a Polar Heart Rate Monitor, a lot. Probably more than I should. But it's interesting to see how my heart performs under different situations. I try to keep it below 80% of my maximum heart rate (178??), which would be around 148bpm.

Ryan and I headed out west to Frutia last week for some warmer temperatures and desert riding. Chutes and Ladders, Joe's Ridge, Front Side, Zippety-doo-dah, the Kessel run (which I was able to do in less than twelve parsecs, I have the fastest Yeti in the galaxy), and Prime Cut were all under our wheels in short order. One new Coleman stove (best $50 cup of coffee I've ever had), more information about camels than you really need, and a few beers later (and an awesome $10 cigar {which I didn't pay for}), we were on our way back to Summit just in time for good weather to roll back in.

Ripping technical single track, way faster than you should, is undoubtedly one of the most fun things you can do with your time. Getting right on the edge (over the edge), and pulling it back is invigorating. I don't fall much, but when I do, I usually end up in the hospital. Luckily for me, my bread "twist-tied" sternum is solid.

Oh yea...check out this crazy "ant-like" bug that I ran into in Fruita. It was about 2 inches long. It was pretty scary and gigantic. In fact, this image is about "actual size." If you know what the hell this is, please let me know.










All my best...Chris

Now it's been 10 Weeks

Well -- 10 weeks since surgery. My heart hurts...aches really. I went back to see Guber and got some x-rays done. Here is what's weird - on the x-ray you can see the valve, clear as day. And the wires in my sternum. They look like twist ties from a loaf of bread or something.

Anyway -- everything seems to be ok. The pain is most likely from the healing process. So, I'm taking Advil every four hours or so. Which is helping.

Not much new...still hiking and riding my road bike as much as I can. Still can't run or ride my mountain bike (two more weeks), or shoot my bow. Which I'm anxious to do, as I have to get ready for archery season (Sept.). I don't think I can fire the rifle yet. I'm afraid that if I do, it'll blow my sternum apart. So, that will need to wait for a while.

I'm sleeping like shit, so I'm taking Ambien again. I'm fat too, so I guess that's good.

Anyways, not a lot of posts lately, but nothing of note is really going on.

Hope all is well.

c

8 Week Anniversary

Yesterday was the eight week anniversary of my heart surgery! Seems like it was a lot longer than that. I know that just over eight weeks ago, I was wondering how I'd be doing at this point. What was it going to be like on the other side of this thing?

I'm happy to report -- better than expected. In the past, when I didn't know what's going to happen, I tended to assume the worst. And it has been hard. But not what I thought it would be. I was riding my bike by June 13th (slowly and painfully), but riding none-the-less. And hiking, and doing a lot of the things that I would normally be doing. The sternum hurts when it breaks. Trust me on this one. If you ever have to choose, do not pick the sternum as the bone that you want to break someday. It sucks. Choose a toe or maybe...well...I can't really think of another good choice.

My heart seems to be healing as well. I'm still experiencing skipped beats (which is very odd), and I can't really push it too much. I think the highest I've gotten it up to was around 160 bpm on a ride. I'm not really allowing myself to go any harder. I'm supposed to keep it at 80% of max, but when you don't know your max, that's rather hard to pull off.

Holy shit -- my friend Kathy Collier had brain surgery! I just found out. So, in the past 8 weeks, of the people I know, there has been one heart surgery and two brain surgeries. WTF?

A little open heart surgery joke

The Mechanic and the Cardiologist

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the
service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the Garage, 'Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?'

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the
motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?' The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...

'Try doing it with the engine running.'

just beat it.

Yea -- a little tribute to michael jackson. But relevant for me too. I've been experiencing a uneven heart rate recently. I'll be at rest, and I can feel my heart missing beats (evidently, this isn't anything to worry about though). I've talked to a couple of doctors, and no one seems to be concerned. I'm concerned though. Missing heart beats can't be good for you.

And my insurance is denying my claims. So, at this point, I'm in about 170K of debt. Supposedly they're doing "research" to be sure that I didn't have a pre-existing that I didn't tell them about. And since I didn't go see a doctor for five years prior to February 2009, I'm hoping that I'm ok. But, still, when you see a bill for $170,000 with your name on it, it's a little stressful. And since insurance companies suck, and will do anything to get out of paying what they're supposed to, there is no way of knowing what the outcome will be. Either way though...I'm not paying it. Unless someone out there has an extra 170K that I can have.

Let me know.

c

Someday, they'll find a cure for pain

So it's been over a month now since I've had the surgery (I think that this past Tuesday marked the one month anniversary).

When people ask me how I'm feeling, I'm not quite sure what to say. I'm not sure how I should be feeling. At this point, I'm supposed to have worked up to a mile walk, but I'm already riding my road bike and hiking. Albeit, slowly, and not for very long distances. My heart rate is still averaging around 100 bpm, and I'm not too happy with that, but none of the doctors that I've spoken with seem to be overly concerned (or really concerned at all.) In fact, they don't really want to see me. I think it's because everything went well, and there isn't anything else to do now but heal.

When I met with Dr. Guber, I was informed that I was anemic (lack of iron) from my hospital stay, and that this may have something to do with me feeling dizzy when I stand up (as well as the rapid heart rate). So, I guess that information would've been nice to have, say...oh, about a month ago.

In addition to liprinosil (for high blood pressure) and Bayer aspirin, I'm now taking an iron supplement. I'm trying to be off the vicodin, which I haven't had for a few days now. I definitely feel it too, but I think that it's good to feel the pain, instead of masking it. This way, I know when I do something that I shouldn't.

And, I'm not sleeping! So that's pretty great. I don't know why. I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but I just can't sleep. So it's back to Ambien for me! Hopefully I won't walk into anymore walls or fall down the steps. And I'm about 12 lbs down in the weitht department. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not riding my bike, and I feel that I've lost a ton of muscle mass. Well, that, and not having any appetite at all. It's hard to eat if you're not hungry. (I know...I know...bla bla bla...You have to eat! Your body needs to rebuild itself...yadda yadda... Trust me, I know. And I've heard it all, from everyone.) However, not hungry = no eating.

ride

So I rode yesterday -- just 16 miles, but not too bad given that I had heart surgery less than four weeks ago.

It was hard, and windy. But, at least I got a ride in.

c

Ridin' and Drivin'

I had my first appointment with Dr. Guber today at 9:45am. They took my blood pressure, blood oxygen level and heart rate, looked at the scar, and listened to my heart. All in all, about 10 minutes of quality Dr./Patient time. (Or about 1/12th of the time that it took to get to the appointment).

Basically, I'm doing great. I can drive, and he told me that I could probably ride my road bike. I wasn't given any restrictions as to how hard I could go...just to be sure that I'm comfortable, and feel good.

So, all good news. Now if the weather would just co-operate!

Since I couldn't drive, I came down with Lisa (who's in class today). So I'm now waiting for her to be done with school. I've been sitting at Einstein's Bagels for the past two hours, and look forward to getting the hell out of here.

c

Gimme a V! Gimme an I! Gimme a C!

Well, I'm trying to kick the Vicodin. I was taking two, every four hours. And now I'm trying to take just 1.5 in the morning, and then supplement it with some Advil throughout the day. Today, I took 1.5 at 9am, and didn't take another 1.5 until just now (around 6pm).

I see my surgeon on Thursday, and I'm hoping that if I'm down to just a few per day, they'll tell me I can drive again. Not that I haven't been driving mind you. I've taken the 'roo out a handful of times in the past few days, but nothing more than a few blocks. In general though, I feel that it's not good to drive on narcotics. The problem is that your world slows down a bit...and even though you think that everyone you come in contact with is also experiencing this "slow down", they're not. I would guess that while dosed up on two vicodin every four hours, I'm running about 10% - 15% slower than the general population.

Not much, but enough to get me a DWI or worse.

Phil, Jenni and Austin were here this afternoon, so it was good to see them. Next time you see Phil, ask him what it's like to try to smuggle pepper spray through Logan Airport Security. Good stuff.

c

Teva Mountain Games - Vail

That's where I was today. It was, by far, the biggest field trip I've been on since surgery. I got to see dogs jumping into a pool for distance...some of the fly fishing competition and a "trials/duo track mountain bike race. Lots of walking. Lots of sitting. And it was a beautiful day.

chris

another day older, and deeper in debt...

Just got an invoice from the anesthesiologist -- $6500! Yikes! Luckily, they're in network, and they were just giving me a "heads-up" that they were billing my insurance. Of course, they made it clear that I may be responsible for some or all of the bill...so I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

When I think back on the past couple of weeks (months), I find it impossible to comprehend everything that I've been through. But I'm hoping that with time, when I'm a couple of months beyond where I am now, that I'll be able to look back with good perspective, and hopefully learn from this experience. Right now, it's hard to conceive of that -- but I'm hopeful.

Anyway -- it's a beautiful day in Frisco...the rain finally went away for a day! Yea!

Recovery is boring

Sorry that I've been a little remiss in posting lately. I can't imagine that anyone is still reading this blog, as there just isn't much going on right now. Just trying to wean myself off the Vicodin, and get back to some semblance of normal.

The weather has been rainy and snowy. So at least I'm not missing much.

I guess I'll walk down to the bagel shop and get some breakfast. Woo hoo!

chris

Hiked today

I went on a hike today. Super flat and easy, but a hike none-the-less. So that was good. Melissa leaves tomorrow, so I'll be on my own again. Jen has organized some people to check in on me throughout the week -- to be sure that I'm eating lunch and whatnot.

My mother made it home from her journey. It took around 29 hours from door to door, so although the train is cheap, it's also slow. I think she's having a retirement party today.

Trying to eat and heal.

c

Mom leaves today...

My Mom leaves today. She's been out here for about two weeks, and I'm sure that she's anxious to get home. She's taking the Greyhound to the train station in Denver, and then she'll be taking the train to Chicago. From there, she'll get on another bus to Janesville, WI.

I'm feeling better. My appetite is getting (sort of) back to normal. I'm walking three times a day. Boring stuff, really. But, I guess that for now, boring is good.

I'm going to try to start some sort of Cardio Rehab next week. Unfortunately, I'll be driving down to Denver for this, as the Summit Hospital doesn't offer anything of the sort.

My first appt. with my Dr. is on June 11th. Not sure what to expect, but I'm guessing that I'll be released to do more activity if all goes well.

Stay in touch...feel free to call anytime.

chris

missed my anniversary

My one-week anniversary came and went yesterday, and not a present from anyone ;~)

Yep...it's been a week and a day since I had my sternum cracked open and a "cow valve" installed. And I have to say that it's pretty weird to think about. Walking around town you run into people you know, and I'm not sure they know exactly what to expect.

Daily activity kicks my ass. Taking a shower for instance pretty much wipes me out. I get to go on three walks a day, and then usually need some sort of rest afterwards. And I still have bouts where I just don't feel good. It's nothing that I can explain, but I think it's a combination of everything that's happened in the past week, the drugs, pain, lack of sleep and hugely diminished appetite.

But, on the upside, I feel good today. I haven't taken a vicodin yet, and I don't feel I need one right now. So that's cool. And, it's finally a nice day out...sunny and (some) blue skies.

c

Is there anything more to life then being really, really, really, really goodlooking?

So, I've been home for a couple of days now. It's hard to remember. I think that I was discharged on Saturday, and it's Monday now. So what...three days? I've had a couple of blood pressure scares.

Last night, at 10:30 p.m., my bp was 148/100. Which is as high as it's been since the operation. I had just gotten done watching Iron Man with that dreamy Robert Downey Jr., so that probably didn't help. In the hospital, they were giving me drugs to keep it down (my blood pressure), but they didn't have that dreamy Robert Downey Jr. to deal with. So anyway...bp is up, and to me, scarily high.

I made Melissa call Dr. Guber to see what's up, and if this were any call for alarm. He said that as long as it's not above 200/xxx I'm ok. So that's pretty friggin' high. AND, guess what? At 4am this morning, it was 160/100. So I figured "elevator...going up!". I'm screwed. But, luckily it was back down this a.m.

I've had a half a sandwich and some cottage cheese today. Eating is not really appetizing at all. I just ate a gold fish cracker. One goldfish. That's all I need.

I'm just like a supermodel.

c

home and going to bed

Hello everyone -- I've been in Frisco for much of the afternoon. Lisa and Christy made chilli dinner, and it was delicious. Well, maybe it's not really that good, but after hospital food, Ramen Noodles and "just-add-water" potatos would have been an improvement! Just kidding, the tiny amount that I enjoyed, I truely enjoyed. I still have no appetite for food, coffee or wine. I can't drink while on Vicodin anyway (or maybe I can?).

I just took two Vicodin, and now I'm trying to sleep. Earlier I had a nightmare during a nap, and that really freaked me out. So I'm hoping that doesn't happen again. I understand that weird dreams are normal. I wonder if it's my body trying to make me remember the surgery...I hope not. I definitely don't want to remember that.

I wanted to thank everyone who came down to visit me in the hospital, and those of you that just had me in your thoughts. It means more than you can know, and I can never repay your kindness. I can't believe what I've been through, and how hard it was, and I woudn't have been able to do it without your support.

I'll ramble on more about that later as I believe the drugs that are "on board" (in hospital parlance) are begining to take affect. I've done some wierd things on Ambien, who knows what narcotics will do.

Wow. Home just four days after open heart surgery. What a short, strange trip it's been.

c

on his way

He's probably home now and on the road to recovery. Send him your good thoughts of strength and health.

outta here

Well, they're discharging me this morning, and I'm heading back to Frisco. My Mom and Melissa are heading up with me, and my Mom will be staying for the week and then taking the train back to Chicago.

I'm not sure that I'm ready, but I guess that the doctor knows what's best for me.

Aimee, the woman who Dr. Guber hooked me up with who'se had two on these surgeries (one human, and a mechanical one now) stopped by yesterday - which was just awesome. It was so good of her to take the time out of her day to come see me. It was a good perspective, and she looked great. Super healthy and happy. She said the the hardest part was to come, because I'll be frustrated and wanting to do too much too soon. And that if I do that, I'll just pay for it later. Now get this...the first time she had this surgery, when she was 31, she had a one-year-old child, and she couldn't take pain medication. I can't imagine that. Makes me feel like a huge sissy.

So there is a bunch of activity going on around me, so I'm signing out.

c

and Lisa brought ice cream!

I did have a picture of Jordan

Happy Visitors

Mike McKay on the left and Melissa on the right.
Jordan was here too but I didn't get a picture of him.

don't let the door hit you in the ass

He gets out tomorrow at 10am. Back to reality albeit a slightly different reality. I'm going to try and post a picture or two later this afternoon.

echocardiogram and surgery scar

Manny just gave me an echocardiogram -- he can't really tell me anything that he sees though. He'll lose his job if he does. So I need to wait until Dr Pachello (the cardiologist) takes a look. Hopefully all is well. Here is a picture of the scar. I know...it's doesn't seem that bad. But I'll tell you what, every morning, it feels like someone parked their Subaru on my chest. The pain comes and goes, but right now I feel pretty good. I just did a lap around the ICU, and that pretty much works me over. So I'm just laying in bed recovering from that now.

chris

Don't call it a comeback

As you can see, he's back! I got here about 6:15 with the requested Burger King dinner and he was doing this third walkabout. He looked great as he lapped some poor old guy in the hallway.

He's currently on his computer while we sit out in the waiting room during the non-visiting hours. I think Lisa is bringing him some ice cream later.

It looks like he might make a break for it on Sunday.

What an amazing experience

I'm in a huge amount of pain. I can't breathe and my chest hurts. I'm on Vicadin...which is good. I'm pretty drugged up. I've had three IV's , a chest tube and pacer wires pulled out of my body. The chest tube was the hardest. It's about the diameter of a drinking straw, and it was about 10 inches into my body. It hurt like hell when it when they pulled it, and the weirdest thing was that when the dressing was changed, there was about 2" of a "blood tube" hanging out of my body. It was like a umbilical cord. Then they cut it off.

c

Day Three

It seems he got some sleep last night but he definitely still sounds tired as I'm sure he will for quite some time. He has had open heart surgery after all! I can't imagine the depth of his tiredness as I'm just worn out from normal life!

They were doing an EKG when I called and I think they have plans for more walkabouts today. He did one lap around the unit and said it sucked. I asked him if it felt good at least to be standing up and he said that it didn't. I think the plan is for him to get out of there tomorrow but I'm not sure so I'll keep you all posted. It's really amazing that his hospital stay will only be about 5 days.

He was waiting for some breakfast and his full roster of visitors today.

To everyone that I've talked to that wasn't able to talk directly to Chris - he knows you've called and I can tell he's so happy that you're all checking in on him.

full nights sleep, really?

apparently, a full nights sleep means waking up and doing a walkabout in the middle of it. They're planning on getting him up and walking at 4am. Seriously? They are going to let him sleep until then without interruption though so that's good.

He's doing great - lots of visitors planned for tomorrow and it looks like they will spring him on Friday.

One thing is certain - Chris is a lucky man. He has a lot of friends and great support - all of which will be important for him in the coming weeks.

Day two going as planned

Chris walked about 100 ft. to his new room (2223) and is taking a nap as I write this. They've taken out the chest tube and his scar looks good - you know, as good as a scar can look I guess. It's about 4 inches long. He asked me to take a picture of it so he could see it on the camera.

Chris' Dad left about an hour ago to catch the train back to Wisconsin and Mom is taking a little break driving Chris' car around Denver - Chris is worried she'll get lost.

They plan to have him up and walking around more as the afternoon progresses - he doesn't sound that excited about it but knows it's good for him. And, they said they will let him try and get a full nights sleep tonight without interruption. They are taking the catheter out at some point this afternoon and he's bemoaning the fact that he will now have to get up to pee. Once again, they just want him moving as much as he can stand.

groggy but good

I was able to talk to Chris this morning around 5:30. I had just called to talk to his nurse, Carmen, but she let me talk to him and he sounds good. He's definitely tired and groggy but doing great. They were able to get his blood pressure up enough to give him some Didlaudid and Vicadin (you're supposed to capitalize narcotics, right?). He didn't get much sleep but he probably will tonight.

They sat him up on the edge of his bed and also had him sit in a chair for awhile. Today he'll get to eat and they'll be moving him out of ICU. They're going to make him walk to his new room which Lynn said he will hate but it's good for him. His OR nurse, Cindi Love, stopped by a couple of times. She asked him if he felt like shit and he said he felt worse than shit. He laughed a bit when he told me this so he's definitely coming around. Doc should also stop by today to check in on him.

I told him you are all thinking of him and passed on your good wishes. He was happy to hear that I talked to a lot of you and says 'hello' back.

I'll post more this afternoon.

recovery begins

He's resting, drinking tiny sips of water and waiting for some pain meds. They're planning on having him sit up around 3am and tomorrow he will walk to his new room out of ICU. His main nurse, Lynn, has been wonderful and his new night nurse, Carmen, promises to take good care of him tonight.

He's doing great.

More in the a.m.

He's waking up

We've only been allowed to look into his ICU room from the hallway a couple of times. This last time he was opening his eyes and nodding his head in answering the nurse. They should be taking the vent out within the hour and then we'll probably get to go into the room for a brief period. He looks really good considering - his color is good and well, he just generally looks way better than I was anticipating.

Melissa and I and his parents are here and will all wait till we are actually able to talk to him a bit.

I know he's felt all of your energy and good thoughts - keep it up! He's going to need a lot of strength in the next few weeks.

it's on to recovery

He's out of surgery and rolling into recovery and then ICU. Doc said it was great and that Chris did great. He now has a new bovine valve. He'll be on a ventilator for a couple of hours and then they'll wake him up.

on to making some calls -

machine-free

he's off the heart/lung machine and will be going to recovery soon. Halle-fucking-lujah!

Doc should be out soon to talk to us -

Cindy Love says, "they're kicking ass."

Chris' main nurse, Lynn, just came and gave us this update so it sounds like all is going well. Extremely well, is what Lynn said actually. He's on the heart/lung machine and they are putting in the value right now. It should be about an hour before Doc comes down to talk to us afterwards.

Time for a little walkabout -

it's a full room today...

with lots of families in here waiting. We continue to wait. It's been about 2 1/2 hours since they started. Feel free to call later this afternoon if you haven't heard from me.

Underway

The last hour has been a hard one for us here seeing Chris off to surgery. Lots of tears, hugs, hand-holding and some laughs, of course. They finally gave him some drug to calm his nerves a bit and we could see it start working as he wanted to make his hair net into a beret.

The head surgical nurse, Cindy Love (you've got to dig that), is wonderful as is everyone we've been in contact with here at Porter. He's in good hands.

More later. I need to go walk around a bit.

...and it's time.

They wheeled him into pre-op just now. We do get to see him again before surgery starts at 11am. Doc stopped by this morning and tried to reassure Chris that all will be well. I hope Doc had a good nights sleep and a healthy breakfast. I have every confidence that he will take good care of our friend.

10:00 am is the time

For the surgery...I'm posting this now, as Dawn is obviously shirking her responsibilities.

So, that's that. I'm really scared and I don't want to have to deal with this. I can't believe that I need to have heart surgery.

From now on, it will definitely be Dawn posting, as I'll be out.

Thanks for thinking about me today.

chris

Rules? What Rules?

They're letting me hang in here with Chris during the supposed 'non-visiting' hours. I think I look scary so they're letting me stay.

Chris had a lovely dinner of salmon and rice with some nasty looking vegies. He didn't eat most of it. He's just laying around (so lazy, he is) and waiting to take a shower.

His doc came in earlier and chatted a bit - Chris has already asked many questions so he wasn't here long. Chris really likes him as do I. He's funny and personable but you can tell he knows his shit. I have no fear of him doing this surgery. Chris will start anesthesia around 11am and surgery begins at noon.

More in the morning.

if you want to call to find out about me

303.778.5622

My Room # is 2226

code is 7471

The Cath sucked, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Supposedly they gave me some sort of sedative, but I don't think it worked. Now I have a hole in my right leg, and that sort of hurts.

chris

Cath procedure went super...

He's done with the cath procedure and all is well. No blockages or problems and he's ready to go for tomorrow. His parents and Melissa are with him right now and I'm on my way from Fort Collins in a bit.

FYI - if you were planning on stopping by tonight (5/19) there are no visitor's allowed between 6:30 and 8:30 both a.m. and p.m. Stupid hospital rules. This applies to when he's in ICU as well. Once he's in a regular hospital room anytime is fine.

He sounds good on the phone but I know he's scared. Please send all your positivity his way.

Figured it out!

Hi all - just figured out how to post on here so you'll be hearing from me later in the day and tomorrow, of course.

Porter Hospital

Is where I'm at.

It's Adventists -- so Jim, that was for you.

Here is the website:

http://www.porterhospital.org/

I'm sitting here waiting for my heart catheterization. They somehow screwed up my hospital band, so I'm waiting for them to fix that. Nobody really seems to have a comprehensive overview of what the hell is going on, so that makes me feel pretty good.

Last night went to Dane Cook at the Pepsi Center and stayed at The Curtis hotel, it's a very cool place in downtown Denver. Check it out http://thecurtis.com/.



c

Dawny P.

Dawn Paepke will be posting updates after tomorrow. I should be able to post again after the procedure in the a.m. on Monday.

So...I check in at 9am. Til then.

chris

Well -- that's about it for me...

I'm not going to be posting again. I go into the hospital on Monday at 9 a.m. I'll be getting the heart catheterization at 10 a.m. Then, I guess that I'm in-patient until the next day.

I go into surgery at noon on Tuesday, and will be in ICU for the rest of that day, and the next day, hopefully heading to a regular room on Wednesday. If all goes well, I should be checking out on Friday or Saturday morning, but I don't really know.

Dawn Paepke will be the person to contact while I'm in the hospital for updates and whatnot. Check the blog first, as she'll be posting updates for me during the procedure. Her phone number is 970.980.4028, but again, please check the blog for updates first, as I don't want to have her inundated with phone calls.

I didn't make a will, as I just couldn't bring myself to do that. And although I know that this isn't exactly legally binding, here is what I want if all goes horribly awry:

Stuff

I don't really care about my stuff. I guess legally, my parents get it. However, there are a few things that I'd like to give to certain people, and here goes:

• My Car -- My sister Kathy can have it if she wants it. It needs:




• Rear Struts


• Clutch


• Brakes




• My 9mm Beretta -- Jordan Weyand
• My Rifle -- it's not my rifle, it's Mark Moore's. Please give it back to him
• My Bow -- Rich Young
• My part of the snowmobiles -- Ry Ry Mo
• My New Computer -- Dawn Paepke
• My Old Computer -- Melissa Carerra
• Framed pictures -- Carol B.

• Skis -- Who Ever fits them. I have both telemark and skate. Four pairs of boots and three pairs of skis.

• All my ski apparel -- Lara Carlson. What I want you to do is sell everything, and buy yourself a new shell. And if you already have a new shell, just keep the money.

• Avalanche Beacon -- Lisa Granatowski

• Motorcycle -- Carol Busch can have this, as it was her father's bike, and it's only fitting that she have it. I was going to give this to Donna Skupien, so, Carol if you don't want it, it's hers.

• TV -- Lisa G. Cause it really ties the room together

• Map Collection -- Carol get's 'em

• Guide Books -- again...Carol Busch

• My 401 K -- Please divide between my two god children. It's not worth much anymore, but it's still something.
• Bike tools, work stand, etc. -- Rich Young & Carol. You two figure that out.
• Bike Trailer -- Carol Busch
• Yeti Mountain Bike -- Jordan Weyand. I was going to give it to Chandler, but stupid Chandler just had to go out and get a new one...stupid Chandler.
• De Rosa Frame -- Rich Young
• CD Collection -- Lisa Granatowski, just because she hates them so much. But she needs to keep them in the plastic cases.
• Albums and stereo system -- Dawn Paepke, cause she's a DJ
• Litespeed -- Dawn knows a guy who needs a bike, he can have it
• Schwinn Cruiser -- Bill Schenk
• Camping stuff -- Carol Busch
• If I've forgotten anything that is meaningful to you, that I own, please let me know, and I'll add you to the list.
• There is a bunch of other crap, please divide it up, or throw it away...I don't care.

Please don't feel left out if you didn't get any loot. I am just trying to give things to people who need them. Except Lisa and the CD's, that's more to be a pain in her ass than anything. Most of this stuff is in my storage unit. Melissa knows where it is and where the key is.

And, if nobody wants any of this stuff, it's mostly in my storage unit. So, just leave it there, and it'll eventually get sold by the storage unit company when the bill doesn't get paid. How nice is that?

Oh yea...if for some reason I'm left in a vegatative state, pull the plug. Don't want to live like that. Dawn, this is all on you. Sorry. Cremate me. Dump me somewhere cool, with a good view. Maybe in Moab, as I love it there so much. But, really, whatever is convenient.

If I come out of this awake and alert, please disregard all of this.

I'm heading to Denver tomorrow to see Dane Cook with Melissa at the Pepsi Center. I'll be staying in a hotel Sunday night. So, that's my schedule.

Hope I'll see you all on the other side (of the operation...not that "don't go into the light" sort of other side.)

If not, thanks for everything. I love you all.

c

Friday Night

Four days to go (or so). I'm not happy.

I finally talked to Aimee

So...more on that tomorrow. I have an appt. with a cardiologist tomorrow at three pm. I'm not sure what to expect, but I guess I'll know more at 4pm. I'll let you know.

Nothing new really. I'm pretty resigned to this whole thing at this point. I just want it over, and I want to start getting better.

trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away

Here is something fun to do...if you haven't had the pleasure, make a will. At this point, I can't bring myself to actually do it, but just having the document open on my desktop is difficult. Oh yea, also write down all your log in and passwords to all you accounts. I think that I have about a million. And, on top of that, I need to get a note from my doctor so my mom can get out of work. WTF is that all about? Really? She's actually retiring at the end of the month anyway, but in order to use her sick time, she needs a note. A note! Do I really need to be dealing with that? That's some messed up shit! I need a drink.

I have to go to a pre-hospital meeting on Thursday at 3pm. But you know what's weird? On the phone, while scheduling this, they asked me if I was allergic to latex. So, I'm not sure if I should be looking forward to this "meeting" or what, but I think I may score.

c

Katie O-K

Katie's surgery went as well as could be. They removed all three lesions, and there was minimum to no brain damage. She'll be up and walking today, and out of ICU too. So, thanks to everyone for keeping her in your thoughts, and a big thanks to everyone who offered up miles. It seems that the response was so good for that, that they're all set for now.

In Chris News:
So, I had originally scheduled my surgery for Monday, May 18. However, prior to the surgery, I need to have a Heart Catheterization. Which sounds like an awful lot of fun! Basically, they shove a catheter into my leg, and up my femoral artery. This will then travel up above my heart, where it will inject dye into the aforementioned heart. Then, my heart is the subject of a photo shoot, designed to tell if there are other problems (blockages in my arteries, aneurysms...etc.). I would rather do the CAT scan, but Dr. Goober feels that, since I'm an athlete, the catheter is a better option. I don't know why. Goober...that's just funny.

SO, anyway, the surgery is now tentatively on the 19th, and the HC is going to be on the 18th.


Oh yea...I'm having the surgery at Porter Hospital. And I still don't know what valve to choose. But with all the swine flu going around, I should probably go bovine. It's not actually a cow valve, but rather a valve constructed from the heart tissue of a cow.

Hey...here is something interesting:

Surgical Technique for Aortic Valve Replacement:

Aortic valve replacement requires the use of a general anesthetic. Once the patient is asleep, the chest is opened and the heart is exposed. Patients are placed on the heart lung machine by placing catheters in the aorta and right atrium. The heart-lung machine does the work of the heart and lungs so that blood can be redirected from the heart. Once the patient is placed on the heart lung machine a clamp is placed on the aorta to stop blood flow into the heart. This allows surgeons to work on a motionless heart devoid of blood. The aortic valve is exposed by opening the ascending aorta. The diseased valve leaflets are removed. Sutures with Teflon felt bolsters (pledgets) are placed along the rim of tissue where the native valve was once attached. Sutures are then passed through the prosthetic valve. Prosthetic valve is then secured in place by tying the sutures. The aorta is then closed and the clamp removed from the aorta. This allows blood flow to resume to the heart and the heart begins to beat. Any air is evacuated from the heart; the support of the heart lung machine is withdrawn. Temporary pacing wires are placed, drainage tubes inserted, and the incisions are closed. The patient is then taken to the intensive care unit for recovery.

Sounds easy enough, eh?

Gin and Juice

You know what's good? Gin and tonic, that's what. Yea! It's a beautiful day, and I'm hanging out drinking some G&T's, and basically enjoying life.

Life, by the way, is also good, and as far as I know, better than the alternative.

nothing

new-- I'm going to call my dr. this afternoon to see what the hell is going on. I'm also calling Aimee, and this other guy (who've both had the surgery).

More when I know.

c

Focus your Brains

Good News! You now have more time to focus your good thoughts for Katie. She's actually flying out to Chicago this Sunday, and will have surgery later on this week. So, keep that shit coming.

In other news, my bluebird has turned grey, but I still got out on my road bike. It's a Litespeed, but I'm definitely not going that fast. It's great to be out doing something physical, but hard to keep my heart rate below 130. (Which, by the way...Won 29? 129? get it...it's where I'm living my life...sheesh. It's like pulling teeth trying to be clever around you people).

Anyway. You know what sucks? Getting passed by people on recumbents! Seriously. That just happened to me. Do you know how humiliating that is? At least he wasn't wearing sock garters and a pith helmet -- but I'm pretty sure he gave me the finger as he smoked past me at 12mph.

In other Katie news:: if anyone out there has extra frequent flyer miles that you're just going to throw away, please donate them to help out with the travel expenses. Not for Katie so much, but for others that are flying out to Chicago to help out. Hit me up if you can help, and I'll get you in touch with the right people.

chris

Sunny and 55 degrees

It's a bluebird day in Colorado. Sunny, clear and warm. If it's anything like this were you live, I encourage you to take the day off and go on a hike. I'm going to. I have a bunch of work to do first, but I think that this afternoon I'm out. So, if anyone would like to join me, feel free.

Katie is in Chicago, probably already in surgery. I hope it's a bluebird day there too.

Here is what's better to do than be at work:

• Sit on my sunny front porch
• Walk 25 feet out my back door to the North Ten Mile creek and go fly fishing
• Go on a hike
• Go on a road bike ride
• Well...pretty much anything other than sit in an office staring at a computer screen

Thoughts to Katie

c

Katie O

I recently learned news about a friend of mine who needs to have brain surgery to remove lesions or tumors from her brain. If this wasn't bad enough, she recently finished chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. Her name is Katie, and if you look at her blog, you'll find that she's one of the hottest bald chicks you could hope to meet. And if strength is beauty (and it is) she's one of the most beautiful people I know.

http://www.thekatieoblog.blogspot.com/

Please think about her for the next couple of days (especially tomorrow - as she's going into surgery) and send good thoughts her way. She's in Montana, so you'll need to think hard, cause it's a long way to go.

Compared to what Katie has gone through (and is going through), my problems seem very, very insignificant.

chris

BOOM!

I'm literally on the phone with Dr. Guber's office right now (on hold of course). I'm going to see what my schedule options are. Due to some work constraints, I wanted to schedule sometime after May 17 , and it looks like I can get in on the 18th. Monday the 18th. Monday the 18th. Monday the 18th. Monfuck'n Day the 18th.

It's scheduled.

Wow - that's is some seriously fucked up shit. I can't believe that I just scheduled the day that I'll be getting open heart surgery. It was just like scheduling an oil change for my Subaru (which, by the way does need an oil change, now that I think of it) , and new struts, and new brakes, and a new clutch...Hey! Does anyone know anyone that needs a 2003 Subaru? It's mint. I'm buying a biggoddamned truck. I always wanted a big goddamedtruck, and one may be coming my way. It's a biggoddamned Ford F150.

chris

Dying Ain't Much of a Living

I know that I haven't posted anything for a week or so, but my parents were out visiting for a few days, and really, nothing much has changed.

I'm going to call Guber's office today to see what the schedule could be, and get this operation on the books. Although I still haven't talked to anyone who's had the surgery, I feel that the sooner that I get it scheduled the better. And, I'll most likely have some time to deal with all the stuff that I need to deal with (valve choice, insurance, living situation...etc.), before the surgery would take place anyway.

I've not heard from my insurance company either (but, I've been down on the Front Range since Saturday, so I may have something in the mail in Frisco). I had to work at the Cherry Creek Sneak (which is a 5k and 5 mile run in Denver), and I'll be back here this weekend to work the Colorado Marathon.

My heart hurts, which is weird, and not supposed to be happening. So, it could be all in my head. But, just in case, I stopped by my doctor's office on Monday to get my blood pressure checked. And it was normal (132/68). According to the doctor in Boulder, there really shouldn't be any pain associated with the leaky valve, so it may be something else.

So, I'm gonna make the call this afternoon to see what Guber's office has to say.

chris

What Now?

I haven't heard anything from anyone. The last doctor I spoke with (in Boulder), was supposed to give my number to two people who've had this operation, but they've not called yet.

I ran into a friend who I haven't seen for a while, and her father has had his aortic valve replaced (at the Cleveland Clinic). So I'm going to talk to her about that this week, and maybe call him.

In other news...my insurance company, Humana One, is trying to back out of paying for this operation. They're investigating to see if this could somehow be considered a pre-existing condition. I have to provide them with details on the past five years of my medical history.

So, yesterday I sat down and reviewed the last five years of doctor visits - six in the past six weeks, two more in the previous six years. In 2004 I went to a doctor because I had two broken ribs and a concussion, and I think that I had a check up at some point in the last half of the last decade. So I don't think they'll find anything, but I also know that insurance companies really suck. So you never know. And I'm sure that I'm going to have fun dealing with that in the upcoming weeks and months.

chris

Choices Suck

Trust me...I know that I "just need to get this done." But what everyone doesn't understand is that when it's your body, it's different. These choices are dibilitating. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I have time to research and figure out what's best for me, but in many respects, it would be easier if there was only one option.

Here is where I'm at:

Probably going with a tissue valve. Probably going with this new guy or Guber. Probably going to schedule sooner than later.

Actually, the next step is to find out if the Boulder hospital takes HumanaOne Insurance - if that's the case, it's a done deal. The others don't, so my hand has been played for me. (Well, to some degree. I'm not going to select a surgeon that I don't like, just to save money.)

And - I'm not doing anything until I talk to at least one person who's had this operation.

So there.

c

The more I know, the more I know that I don't know

I (literally) just got out of my appointment with Dr. Mark Douthit, in Boulder. I'm sitting in the parking lot, writing this post. Mark Douthit...how would you pronounce that? Do It? Cause that's what he told me to do..."it." Get it done. Get it done now, and you'll be mountain biking this summer. He also recommended against the human valve, and instead suggested a Bovine pericardial valve. This is due to the scarring that occurs with the homograph (human valve), and the difficult nature of the second operation.

He's going to give me the names of past patients (screw HIPA, I guess) to talk to, so I'm looking forward to that. I still haven't heard from Aime. I originally came here to discuss the less invasive procedure, but interestingly, he didn't even bring that up.

I would need to get a CAT scan of my heart prior to this procedure, to be sure that there is nothing else going on in there. The other option is to get dye injected into my heart (via my leg, which doesn't sound like much fun). "Do it" said that the CAT scan would take less time than the paperwork. So, that sounds better then the dye injection.

I can potentially get this done next week. Wow. Just writing that brings up a tidal wave of emotions. Now I'm sitting in my car crying.

c

Less invasive option - Closed Heart Surgery

I have an appointment in Boulder tomorrow to discuss the less invasive option for this procedure -- basically the surgeon pushes a valve into the main artery in my leg, and drives it up to the heart. From there, they use robotics to remove and install the valve. It's called closed heart surgery. Sounds very weird, and I don't think that I'm really that interested. But I guess it's worth learning about.

It's 3am

It's another night that I can't sleep. I'm up, and my heart is racing. I just checked my pulse, and it's around 105bpm (so basically, it feels like I'm out for an easy jog). I suppose that I could take an Ambien, but they don't really seem to work for me (and I've never taken one this late, so I'm not sure what it would do). Unfortunately, this restlessness is normal, although usually I can sleep until 4:30am. I wonder what's causing the insomnia? I'm worried about my insurance company screwing me. I'm worried about the procedure. I'm worried about the recovery. I'm scared for what my life will be like afterwards. Bla Bla Bla.

chris

I'm thinking about the door bell, when you gonna ring it? When you gonna ring it?

I put the call in, and hopefully I'll hear from her soon. Fingers crossed.

Oh yea...this just in -- college football player who had an aortic valve replaced.

Click Here to read the article.

chris

Where are you?

Alaska, Alaska, Argentina, Nevada and Boulder. Some people were asking about where I was in the images in the new header. I know it's not as good as the last one, but I didn't really have a lot of time to devote to it, and it'll do for now.

Amie, What you wanna do?

Guber called with a reference - the woman who chose the human, and then needed to get a mechanical valve seven or so years down the road. It's weird because Stanton's office said something about HIPA when I asked for references. They wouldn't release any names due to privacy laws. WTF? I think that there are probably plenty of people who've had this surgery that would love to speak to others. Anyway, I'm calling her tomorrow. Her name is Amie.

Gueber - 1, Stanton - 0

Gueber called me yesterday and left a message. He has a patient that chose the human valve, and then it went bad after seven years. So she needed to get the mechanical installed and is now on coumidin. He thinks that talking to her will give me some good perspective. So, hopefully she'll agree to take the call. I would if I was her...who wouldn't want to talk to me?

Waiting for someone or something to show me the way

After meeting with Dr. Carrol on Monday, I decided to finally make some calls to both Stanton and Gueber. I'm trying to get more information on this procedure, and would like to talk to some of the people they've done this to. I have questions, and I need answers. I also want to get their opinions on the choice that I've made regarding the valve option (human), to see if there are any other considerations that I don't know about, or haven't thought of.

Although the human valve can fail in as few as 7 years (which would require a mechanical valve being installed, and coumidin), they have lasted 15+ years. The data that I've seen looks to show a 91% success rate after 15 years. But, it's a crappy fax, and it could very well be saying a 91% failure rate! So, I obviously need to ask some questions on that. And by the way, a fax? Really Michael Vick? How about emailing me a fricking .pdf file that I can actually read? I can't believe that I'm actually considering open heart surgery from someone that can't attach a file to an email and hit "send."

I Wanna be Sedated

I met with my primary care doctor today and he's all over my ass about scheduling this surgery - AND he won't prescribe me any Xanax. Which I guess is actually a good thing considering my highly addictive personality. The fewer pharmacuticals I have access to, the better. I'm pretty sure that if I'd ever tried heroin I'd be living in a cardboard box, selling myself for my daily fix.

I'm calling Dr. Gueber (yes, I'm actually considering having my heart pulled out of my body by a guy named Goober! Fitting, I believe.) tomorrow to try to schedule this thing -- I just tried today, and got the friggin' answering service...how's that for luck? I felt just like a 15 year old boy calling a girl for the first time, and having her dad answer the phone...

chris

Didn't even have to use my AK

Today was kind of a good day.

I'm Scared

I do not want to schedule this thing...I can't tell you how frightening and scary this is. I cannot bring myself to schedule "elective" open heart surgery. Remember when you were in 7th grade science class and you got to dissect a frog? Well, that's basically what's going to happen to me. Same premise. I need to choose the time that I want someone to to cut me open like a goddamn kitchen cupboard and remove my heart. I can't do it.

chris

Calm Like a Bomb

A lot of people ask me how I'm doing...I'm freaked out, scared, sad, pissed and depressed. I know that after this operation is over, and after the 6 - 8 week (really painful and shitty) recovery, I may believe that I'm lucky. I know that there are a lot worse things that could happen to me. I know that a lot of people have way more horrible issues to deal with than this, and I know that this may not be the worst thing that happens to me in my life. And I realize that I'm lucky to have discovered this now, before any major damage was done. But, at this point, it's all small consolation. Believe me, I'd rather not be dealing with this at all.

But I'm trying, Ringo...I'm trying real hard. I feel pretty good when I'm about 4 - 6 glasses of wine deep. I feel ok when I'm skiing huge powder (like I did today - 12" at Breckenridge, suckers!). But in general, you can't really forget that you need to have open heart surgery. Try as I may, it just doesn't go away.

PS -- to all you Rage Against the Machine fans out there...Yes, I know that Calm Like a Bomb isn't actually on the album pictured. But it gets my point across better. And, to quote Zack, "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."

That's Some Cold Blooded Shit to Say to a Motherfucker

I'm sure that a lot of things occurred on Monday, March 2, 2009, but the one that mattered most to me was being told that I suffered from Aortic Insufficiency -- a leaky heart valve. And if I didn't get it fixed, I would be dead within 2 - 5 years. What the fuck do you do with information like that?

I felt as if I was given a death sentence with a possibility for parole. I shouldn't have been by myself hearing this news. I certainly shouldn't have been driving a car. But I was, and I did. For some reason, I sent my roommate Lisa a text, informing her that I needed open heart surgery. I can only imagine what receiving that text was like. What an asshole. Then, I did the only thing that I could think to do -- call Carol. Although we had ended our relationship months prior, and hadn't spoken since December, I didn't know who else to call. And I didn't want to see anyone else. I don't really remember what we said, although I do remember calling my Mom. And I do remember crying a lot. Then, I left for Frisco.

Now, I can't stress this enough -- DO NOT, EVER, let someone drive who has just learned this type of news. It's hard to drive through tears, and it's hard to not want to jerk the wheel to the left, and crash your car into a fucking bridge abutment. I know that this seems ridiculous, but when you don't know what to expect, your mind takes you to a deep, dark place, and assumes the worst. Why would I want to live if I can't Mountain Bike? Road Ride? Ski? Hike? Backpack? Run? I have lived a lot of my life near my aerobic threshold. This is who I am, or I thought, who I was.

Aortic Insufficiency is when your heart valve doesn't seal properly and blood leaks back into the Aorta. There are a few reasons for this, but in my case, it's due to having a bicuspid valve when I should have (like most of you do) a tricuspid. This accounted for the rapid heart rate that I had been experiencing for the past several months. This accounted for the lack of fitness that I was feeling. And this accounted for the insomnia. Luckily, due to my persistence, I had discovered this before any irreparable damage had occurred.

Aortic Insufficiency reveals itself over time. It's a problem that gets progressively worse until you begin showing symptoms...shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, etc. And, unfortunately there isn't anything you can do except get your heart valve replaced. From what I understand, the most common procedure goes something like this (and I'll know more about this later, I'm sure)...a team of surgeons crack through your sternum, yank out the heart, cool it down (so they can work on it), and replace the bad valve. Then, they re-install the whole mess and staple you back together. During this time, I'm placed on a heart/lung machine to keep me alive. It takes anywhere from 45 minutes to a couple of hours, and it's one of the most commonly performed heart surgeries. One of the doctors I spoke with had done 1,500 open heart surgeries.

Valves: Unfortunately, or fortunately, there are decisions to be made when getting this type of surgery. The biggest is choosing the type of valve you want to get installed. And, according to Dr. Stanton, it's not what's good about them that you need to think about, it's what sucks about them. Here are the choices:

• mechanical -- these are made out of plastic, titanium and other high tech materials. They will last for 40+ years, and you'll never need to get this valve replaced. Unfortunately, with a mechanical valve, you need to be on cumiden, a blood thinner. Otherwise, clots will form on the valve, and you can/will stroke out. Living on a blood thinner isn't for me. For reasons that I won't go into now, I just don't think that this is a good option.


• tissue (pig) -- no blood thinner needed. But, this valve will wear out, and you will need to get another surgery down the road. The lifespan varies, but you can expect a 50% failure rate after 10 years. Some last as long as 18 years, and some fail after 5 years.


• human -- First of all, no, I don't need to wait for someone to drop dead. But it does take a week or so to get one of these delivered. The upside with the human is that it lasts much longer, and has a better flow (good for athletes). This valve can last as long as 25 years (in fact, they don't even have data for that lengh of time yet). But, the downside is this...when it does fail, and it will, the next surgery is (as Dr. Geuber put it) "a ball buster." AND, since the second surgery is so difficult, they will only install a mechanical valve. So, blood thinners. The failure rate is 10% after 10 years -- but they have failed in as few as 7 years.

So, these are my options. At this point, I think that I'm leaning toward a human valve for the durability and blood flow. I have met with two cardiothorasic surgeons, and would like to talk with at least one more. But, the bottom line is that I will need to get this surgery, and probably the sooner the better.

Physical Activity: I'm still skiing and riding, and I'm still hiking. I've received some conflicting info on this, but in general, it's ok if I'm active. One of my doctors said not to get my heart rate above 130 bpm, and the others said that as long as I feel comfortable, I'm probably ok. One doctor said that I can work out, but he didn't know why I would...I'm not going to be able to get "fit." What I guess he doesn't understand is that if I can't be outside and active, I'd surely put a bullet in my head, and the heart surgery would be a moot point.

Next Steps: I have to say that it's very hard to want to schedule this procedure. To set a date for surgery isn't anything that I want to do. But, I know that I don't have a choice, so I'm slowly coming to terms with that. Luckily I have insurance.

I have an appointment with my regular doctor on Monday. And although I don't know what I'll find out, but I think that this thing will occur sooner than later.

Friends: When something like this happens to you, you really learn about what's important, and who you can count on. Simple things like a phone call or a card take on meaning that I never understood before. Having people around who care about you is of paramount importance, and I appreciate all of you who have called or emailed. I really can't thank you enough.

I did not see that coming

Several weeks had gone by since I noticed that my heart rate was usually around 100bpm at rest. And, given my generally active lifestyle (broken up by bouts of drinking with Jordan), this just didn't seem normal.

I had visited a doctor in Frisco, and after an EKG, chest X-ray and blood work, was told that I "had a big, strong heart." and that I must just be "under a lot of stress." I was sent on my way with 12mg of Ambien CR, and told to get some rest.

Stress. OK...I guess I'll buy that, I thought. I just got out of a very serious, 8 year relationship with Carol. I didn't really have a place to live. I've been essentially unemployed for a year...I must be under a lot of stress. Although it seemed to me that I had a pretty stress-free life -- a good amount of freelance work, a job starting soon, lots of skiing, travel...hell, I was heading to Hawaii on March 3. But OK. Stress it is. Good for me. Plus, it got me some sweet, sleepin' drugs. All is going to be well. Yea!

But something else was amiss. And after a few more mornings waking up at 4 a.m. with a monstrous heart rate, I decided that I simply wasn't under that much stress.
After much insistence from Dawn, I scheduled an appointment with my old doctor, Dr. Caroll, in Fort Collins. He detected a very small "heart murmur" and wanted me to get an echocardiogram to see what's up. They scheduled an appointment for me that afternoon at the Heart Center of the Rockies, but I blew it off and headed back up to Frisco. I didn't want to deal with rush hour traffic in Denver, and just wanted to be home.

For some reason, I rescheduled the appointment a few weeks later at the Heart Center. And, even though I was heading to Hawaii the next day, and it was a huge pain in my ass, I made the drive up to Fort Collins for the test. It was Monday, March 2, 2009.