Calm Like a Bomb

A lot of people ask me how I'm doing...I'm freaked out, scared, sad, pissed and depressed. I know that after this operation is over, and after the 6 - 8 week (really painful and shitty) recovery, I may believe that I'm lucky. I know that there are a lot worse things that could happen to me. I know that a lot of people have way more horrible issues to deal with than this, and I know that this may not be the worst thing that happens to me in my life. And I realize that I'm lucky to have discovered this now, before any major damage was done. But, at this point, it's all small consolation. Believe me, I'd rather not be dealing with this at all.

But I'm trying, Ringo...I'm trying real hard. I feel pretty good when I'm about 4 - 6 glasses of wine deep. I feel ok when I'm skiing huge powder (like I did today - 12" at Breckenridge, suckers!). But in general, you can't really forget that you need to have open heart surgery. Try as I may, it just doesn't go away.

PS -- to all you Rage Against the Machine fans out there...Yes, I know that Calm Like a Bomb isn't actually on the album pictured. But it gets my point across better. And, to quote Zack, "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."